Injustice is served.

I want to preface this entry with "I'm not BLAMING my problems on anyone." Things have happened throughout my life that have been misunderstood and has caused a lot of hurt. These are a couple of things I've kept under a tight lid, but it is time to let it out.

I just saw a post on a friend's Facebook that prompted this blog entry. It was not the first time I'd seen it, and won't be the last I'm sure, but seeing how I'm staring down the 10 year reunion of my high school graduating class, I felt it was time to address this.


"A 15 year old girl holds her 1 year old son; people call her a slut, but no one knew she was raped at 13. Make fun of someone for being fat, but you don't know that person has a serious medical condition that causes her to be fat. Call the old guy ugly, but you don't know he got a serious face injury after serving the country or saving a life. Repost this if you're against bullying and stereotyping."


I went to school with some of the most rude and insensitive folks. Ahead of me, in the same grade, and behind me. I even had one particular piano student clue me in that her family (which happens to be family of  my own) had been discussing my weight and that I needed to lose the fat by exercising. Not so simple! God bless her, though, she didn't realize it wasn't okay to let a person know what was being said about them...


I have PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome). It is a metabolic disorder, characterized by otherwise unexplainable weight gain, exceptionally difficult weight loss, crazy hormones, inability to conceive, and other various symptoms and difficulties. Dr. Cole wasn't able to diagnose this disorder, treated my weight issues with SEVERAL different therapies all to no avail, and eventually said "just back up from the damn table." My gracious! I was barely eating, starving myself just to MAINTAIN my weight, riding bikes and rollerblading for 2-3 hours a day, and not getting any results. 


But none of you knew anything about my personal battle. You just knew I was fat. And you LOVED to remind me. You know what? I've come to terms with the fact that I will always be heavy, unless I decide to undergo very expensive surgical treatments including, but likely not limited to, Ovarian Drilling and Gastric Banding. 


JD is indeed a miracle child. He should never have even been conceived, much less carried to term (but that's a whole different medical chapter), but he is here and is amazingly healthy. I will likely never have another child. And as much as it hurts, I am okay with that. I'd rather not put myself through the miscarriages again, or the "trying" to even get pregnant. 


And as for those of you who talked behind my back about me being a lesbian: yes, I found out about that. I'm very much not a lesbian. I do have friends who are GLBT, but my personal conviction is that God intended marriage and sex to be between one man and one woman. That is how I've always felt. What you do with your partner(s) is between you and the god you serve. 


I've held these things in for a long time. I knew you didn't want me in your circles. And that's okay. And it's not that I'm better than you, and you're certainly no better than me, but we just aren't right for each other. The politics have and will continue, and that's fine. But I think I've made up my mind that it's not something I want to re-hash.